Tommy: (Runs on stage with a bat and swats at Arnold.) HAMMER TIME!

Arnold:You can’t touch this!

Tommy:(still swatting) You said “Hammer Time” and it’s HAMMER TIME! (Finally Tommy nails Arnold in the knee cap knocking him to the ground.)

Arnold: OWWWWW!!! I hate you, Tommy!

Tommy: I hate you too, Arnold. Why do you always have to try to be MC Hammer?

Arnold: M.C. Hammer is my lord and savior. I will dance in his footprints for eternity.

Tommy: Like Hell you will! (Tommy beats both of Arnold’s knee caps with his bat until he clearly has permanent damage.)

(Enter Richard w/sexy back-up dancer.)

Richard: (singing) Outside, inside out, livin’ the Vida Loca! She will boom da bowm. Livin’ la vida Loca. Let’s spin all around and drink some coffee mocha. I am sexy now. Livin’ la vida Loca. Livin’ la vida Loca! (Back-up dancer does a sexy split.)

Tommy: What is going on today? Everyone wants to be has-been pop-stars!

Richard: I have forsworn my father’s name and birth right as Richard Henrickson the VI to become Rrrrrrrrricardo Martinio.

Tommy: It’s Ricky Martin, you ass.

Richard: You like ass?

(Back-up dancer strikes sexy Butt pose.)

Richard: You want to bang that ass? (sings) She bangs, she bangs! Oh baby she moves, she moves. I’m going crazy!

Tommy: Hey Richie.

Richard: (pouting) Ay, ay, ay…

Tommy: Sorry, Rrrrrricardo. Did you see what happened to Arnold.

Richard: (Noticing Arnold.)Oh No! Mi amigo, que pasa?

Arnold: Can’t talk. Can’t walk. The Pain. (points to Tommy) He did it. No more hammer time.

Tommy: If you don’t stop singing La Vida Loca your knee caps are next.

Richard: You don’t scare me, Fatty. You only wish you had a piece of my hot latino bootay!

Tommy: In your dreams, Henrickson.

Back-up Dancer: My turn. (sings) My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! There like is better than yours. Damn right it’s better than yours. I would teach you but I have to find.

(Tommy goes crazy and kills all 3 wannabe-popstars with his bat.)

Tommy: (laughing maniacally) American Idol here I come!!!! (sings) I’m too Sexy for this show too sexy for this show, too sexy you know!

BLACKOUT