Erik: Hi White Ninja action figure that disappeared from my desk in 2nd grade. Thanks for being with me today.

Storm Shadow: My blades of steel will bring you to your knees!

E: Okay, let's get started with the questions then. Storm Shadow, why were you so elusive during my parent's and my purchasing process of you on my seventh birthday? I mean we must have checked 100 stores before I found you behind a whole stack of Airtights and Sgt. Slaughters. What were you doing back there?

SS: The true warrior can never be harnessed.

E: Huh... what exactly does that mean?

SS: [something in Storm Shadow's native tounge that I can't understand, followed by a really intimidating stare]

E: Well, let's move on to the next question I guess. What do you think made you the coolest of the G.I. Joe action figures?

SS: I care not for status. I fall upon my enemies with only the cold grip of doom.

E: That's exactly what I was going to say! Man, you are so fucking cool. Now, White Ninja, the million dollar question: Where did you go when you disappeared from my desk, during recess, in 2nd grade? Did Kenny Mason sneak into the classroom and take you from my desk because he was poor, and smelled bad, and really liked G.I. Joe action figures?

SS: The true warrior can never be harnessed.

E: Yeah, I know, you said that earlier, but did Kenny Mason steal you from my desk during recess?

SS: Your pathetic and meager attempts at combat mean nothing to me.

E: Kenny Mason... did he take you? Very important here, Storm Shadow. Focus please.

SS: You cannot compete with my Shaolin training and dagger throwing prowess.

E: You aren't listening to me! Did Kenny Mason steal you!

SS: ...yes.

E: Thank you! You heard it here people. Kenny Mason was a thief and Mrs. Chaffer did nothing about it, even though I swore up and down, that it had to be him, because he was poor and smelled bad and really liked G.I. Joe action figures. God, I feel great about this, White Ninja. Thank you so much for being here. This has truly been educational and uplifting. I really hope that everything has been going great for you since we parted ways, and that you have had a really full and productive life. I mean, truthfully, had you stayed with me, you probably would have ended up being taken apart and put back together with Snake Eye's legs and Bazooka's arms, and then burned in a matchstick cabin or buried alive in the sandbox. I guess, in hindsight, you really owe Kenny Mason a big debt of gratitude.

SS: The true warrior can never be harnessed.

E: Ha! You can say that again Storm Shadow... you can say that again.