I’ve been holding back my feelings for you for so long but I’m about to burst with the passion I feel for you. It all started the day you came over to my house for rehearsal but stayed late and got really drunk on my couch. Remember that ONE special time, Erik? It really stands out in my memory. You were wearing your Patagonia fleece, you know, the one you’ve had since 10th grade? And that old faded t-shirt with the funky 3-D pattern on it. What a great oufit! I wish you’d be that creative with your fashion choices more often. Do you remember the conversation we had? It was really special and unique. You talked about yourself and told stories from your creepy parents and messed up childhood and then you quoted a few stand-up comedians. God you were so funny! It was really special that we got to have that conversation, which we’ve never had again since that time. I felt like you’d opened up to me in a way you NEVER do with anyone else. You are the most unpredictable man I have ever met and I just can’t resist it any longer.

I can only guess what you’re thinking because you’re so unpredictable… but it’s probably something like: where do we go from here? I mean normally you’re a little short for me to get seriously involved with, but maybe you’ve noticed that I’ve stopped wearing heels since I met you just so we’d be more properly matched. My sister thinks your hands are kind of small and dainty, but I don’t mind that so much. At first I was grossed out that your new beard was the same texture as pubic hair, but I could get a full wax and balance out the equation.

So, Erik Bowie, please be my Valentine so we can take the really original friendship that we have to the next level.

Love and Fuzzy Face Kisses,
Mel