but what should we drink, Dan?

That's a good question... luckily I am here to help you. Here is my Thanksgiving drinking schedule for all of you SKP fans:

9am: Wake up and pour yourself a mimosa (or three) and tune into the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. (Mimosa recipe: 1/2 glass OJ + 1/2 glass of Champagne) I will be watching the parade live, drinking mimosas as well, so we'll be sharing something together.

10am: Put in your turkey and, to celebrate, finish off that first bottle of Champagne with an extra strong mimosa. Put on coffee.

10:30am: Pour coffee, but as an extra energizer, instead of pouring in lots of sugar, use some Bushmills Irish Cream (it's way better than Bailey's) and, just for kicks, toss a shot of Bushmills Whiskey in there too. It's a real wake-me-up as you get ready to start cooking your hors d'ouevres.

11:30am: As noon approaches, coffee is no longer the drink of the day and, really, you have to start to bring the anxiety down that you're probably feeling as you realize company is arriving in a couple short hours and you haven't begun cleaning the house (nevermind showering). Solution: A Boodles Gin Martini. A little dirty with some olives (stuff those olives with some Blue Cheese and you've got a winner.) While you're at it, to make your life easier, create and impromoptu hors d'ouevre: gin soaked olives. Just toss the olives into a tupperware dish, throw in some gin, and put them in the fricge. This is sure to sedate your guests when they start picking.

1:00pm: After a couple of Martinis as you've prepped your fixings, you're ready to clean the house. Quick and easy solution to cleaning: grab the ShopVac in your basement and run it over everything. Those ShopVacs are amazing and can suck dust and grime out of the hardest corner to reach. Celebrate your clean house by making your special punch that has everyone coming back year after year. Remember, this is a lot like a Long Island Iced Tea, but you add more ice cream and some peyote (like the Native Americans had back in 1620) to make the Thanksgiving table look a little more colorful.

1:30pm: Put your white wine in the fridge and, goddammit, take a shower!

2:30pm: You're nice and clean and company is starting to arrive. Remember your annual T-day tradition: you start Thankgiving off just like the pilgrims did. No one crosses the threshold without a shot of American Bourbon. Wild Turkey 101 if you've got it. Believe me, people will thank you when they realize that the only hors d'ouevres you've had time to make are the gin soaked olives.

2:45pm: Remember the turkey? Don't forget to baste it.

4:00pm: It's time for dinner. You've been doing shots of Wild Turkey consistently for 2 straight hours. you may want to ask one of the guests to grab the Turkey out of the oven for you. And in fact, since you can't stand, just sit at the head of the table (that you forgot to set earlier) while everyone else gets the meal ready. Pour yourself a glass of Chardonnay and relax. You deserve it. You've worked hard today.

4:05pm: As one of your guests points out that you never actually turned the oven on, you notice that everyone else seems to be staring at your paisley rug and trying to touch it even though they are two rooms away from it. They are also awfully quiet. Pour yourself another glass of wine and start looking for Chinese food menus.

5:00pm: Almost everyone has vomited olives all over your bathroom (who knew people reacted so harshly to peyote?) Pretty much everyone has wandered outside. You're alone in your house again. Finish that bottle of white wine and flip on the TV.

5:10pm: The Chinese food has arrived. No one else wants any since they're now passed out on your lawn covered in snow from the first storm of the year that's just starting. Your plum wine in the liquor cabinet will go well with those boneless spare-ribs and moo goo gai pan.

6:00pm: You're passed out in a plate of General Tsao's while sounds of football dance from your tv to your ears. You've never been happier.